I’m obsessed with candles – I like sweet scents like vanilla and butter cream. I also have a thing for fresh flowers and twinkle lights.
There was a time I’d purchase these things and wait until I had a girlfriend over or threw a dinner party to enjoy them. I’d wake up in the morning and want to light my candles and plug in the lights, then a voice inside my head would say, “Don’t waste that stuff on yourself. Save it for when someone comes over.”
I’d see a glorious bouquet of flowers in the grocery store and not get them after admiring them (and having an internal battle with myself) for ten minutes because I figured I would be the only one to see them.
Then, my life got really busy with three kids and guess what? Not many people came over. Not to mention when they did, things got so crazy I’d forget to light the damn candles, I never remembered to buy flowers, and we’d pull out paper plates to make things easier instead of using my new square white plates I coveted for months before splurging.
I realized after saving the good shit for other people– my good shit that I bought because it made me happy– that what I was doing didn’t make any sense.
I love a good smelling house. I like having twinkle lights on my deck all year round. I like seeing my food on a nice plate. Having throw pillows on my bed fills my heart with jot even though there aren’t many people who see my bedroom.
But hello, I do. I see my bedroom all the time. And doing little things for myself makes me happy so, that’s reason enough.
It’s so easy to push ourselves to the back burner all the time. We make excuses about not having enough time to do proper self-care. We are constantly rushing around taking care of everyone else until we are so depleted we don’t know what hit us.
Lighting a candle, eating off a favorite dish, or getting the good steak for ourselves are really small gestures. But they go a long way in reminding us we are worthy and we matter. They can get us thorough a tough, long day. They lift our spirits enough so other people notice us. And the biggest reason to indulge is because we deserve them.
Now, when I wake up in the morning the first thing I do is take out my lighter. If see beautiful flowers, I but them for myself and I don’t even stop to think about if anyone is going to come over and enjoy them with me.
I do these things for me and it took me long enough to realize what I get out of it is enough.
Now, it’s time to make up for lost time so I’m of the store to go overboard some on tulips because I need a little cheering up.
And showing my kids it’s good to take care of yourself in this way, and not wait on others to do it has been an added bonus for sure. We are in charge of our own happiness and that should never be put on hold.
