Sh*t I Do Behind My Kids’ Backs

Watch trash TV. My kids don’t need to watch Scandal and The Real Housewives, but I do. 

Swear. Okay, occasionally I do this in front of them. And then they march into school and say, “Guess what cool new word mommy taught me?” And then the school calls me and I apologize. And then I get off the phone and say,…

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