Oh, the joy of summertime! The windows are open, school is out, and kids are running laps around the yard that ensure everyone collapses into bed each night without argument. While it’s delightful to bask in the tinkling of their giggles in the warm breeze and witness their adventures with the neighborhood kids, just because the play is outside doesn’t mean there won’t be messes to manage! They might not be under our noses, but we still know what’s what when it comes to playing outside in the summer–and what’s going to end up inside.
1. Sand and water tables would be more aptly named Mud Fight Tables.
2. Popsicles are 80 percent drip, 10 percent snack, and 10 percent doorknob coating.
3. Kids are mulch magnets. The stinkier it is, the and more likely it is to end up in their pockets. And in your washing machine.
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4. Boys will pee anywhere. They especially like targets.
5. Girls will throw homemade slime at anything. They especially like the sound of it hitting the siding of the house.
6. Water gun fights don’t seem like they’d be messy, but kids are overachievers in this area.
7. If it weren’t for disinfecting wipes you’d never allow food on or near your patio table. Ever.
8. Toddlers won’t eat BBQ sauce but they have no problem using it as finger paint to draw self-portraits on any low windows.
9. It’s possible for sliding door handles to feel both gummy and crunchy. You don’t want to know how, you just want it to go away.
10. If your daughter says that she’s working on a cool project, it means there is a trail of dead plants and silt looping from the flower bed outside the garage all the way up to the upstairs bathroom.
11. There will be days when every kid in the neighborhood will use your downstairs bathroom during a spontaneous game of football. BE PREPARED.
12. It’s a genius idea to insist all art projects and glitter-glue crafts be done outside now, but they will absolutely find their way into your home while still damp.
13. Chalk and bubbles are SO MUCH FUN.
14. Chalk and bubbles are SUCH A COLORFUL COMBINATION THAT STICKS TO EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE.
15. There’s no way you’re sitting on that cobweb condo of a plastic chair to watch your kids play basketball until it’s been thoroughly de-bugged. It doesn’t matter by who—but you. just. can’t. deal.
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16. Your kid will only get a bloody injury that needs to be cared for inside if he’s dustier than Pigpen.
17. Your kids find worms way more fun that you ever knew was possible.
18. They also see no problem with racing those muddy buggers on your kitchen island.
19. The garage door looks like it has only been opened via muddy sneakers kicking their way in.
20. You can know where your kids have been by the sweaty sunblock smears they leave in their wake.
21. The dirtier your kids are, the more fun they are having. So clearly they’re having a fantastic summer so far.
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