Every word of a parent stays with the kid forever, especially if it is something negative. At times, in the process of soothing the kids, parents end up saying phrases that they either regret immediately or hours later. But the parents don’t realize that the damage has been done and nothing can heal the kid now. Hence, it is essential to be mindful of what you say to your kids even when you are angry with them. As per experts, these are certain phrases that you should never say to your kids.
1. You Make Me So Mad
Refrain from playing the blame game with your child. Understand, they are kids, they are bound to make mistakes, and sometimes grave ones. But that does not mean that you blame them or use harsh words to tell how you feel about them. It’s best to share responsibility rather than blame. Instead of saying that your kids are making you mad, try something positive like, “I am feeling a bit annoyed right now in the situation. No one is to be blamed but I need to calm down first.”
2. Why Are You So Dumb?
In the heat of the moment, you might often say this phrase but you should never say such things to your kids as they might start believing it. If you tell them that they are dumb they will slowly lose self-confidence. They will become very conscious of what they do and what they say, fearing that they might end up doing something dumb. This might even affect their behavior as adults.
3. We Can’t Afford That
Never tell your kids that you can’t buy things because of the financial issue. This might hurt them. Instead, tell them that since you are planning to buy a big house for them, or planning a trip to Disneyland, you are trying to save money. Show your kids that you have control over the finances and everyone else should also do the same. Encourage your kids to make smart financial decisions like setting up a saving jar and so on.
4. Why Can’t You Be Like Him or Her?
This is the most common thing that parents usually say to their kids when they are irritated by their behavior. But next time you want to say such a thing, take a step back and think, “Is it right to compare my kid with others?.” When you draw comparisons between siblings, friends, or others, you only fuel rivalry and low self-esteem in your kids. Your kids will always look for ways (good or bad) to be better than others. So, don’t compare your kids, instead love them for who they are.
5. Stop Talking
It’s common to shut down kids after feeling overwhelmed with parenting. Instead, try to take a break, rather than asking your child to stop talking. Tell them that you will be back in a few minutes and then hear them out. Go to some silent place in the house, relax, and be back when you feel calmer.
Kids are delicate. The way you behave with them or say things to them can have a long-lasting effect on them. So, choose your words wisely and never say anything hurting out of anger.
You can also read 5 Ways to Teach Your Child How Not to Be a Bully
