Are you walking on eggshells lately around your teenage kids? Do you always have to think thrice before speaking with your child, fearing it will lead to a teen tantrum that will be difficult to handle?
Well, the good news is (or should we say bad news?) teen tantrums are pretty common, and almost all of us have to deal with them at some point. With the kids growing up, they have changing needs and changing hormones, and they are desperately trying to figure things out on their own.
Thus, teenagers tend to become moody, short-tempered, easily frustrated, and sometimes even disrespectful (we feel you, mama, we have all been there). However, instead of shunning them, there are some healthy ways to manage teen tantrums without negative repercussions.
1. Open communication
When your teen throws tantrums, don’t yell back, walk away, take things personally, or ground them. This will only cause more damage. These steps usually delay the dialogue process, straining your relationship with them in the long run. Moreover, it can further fuel their frustration and intensify their tantrums.
Instead, when your kids throw tantrums, try to figure out where their angst is coming from. Are they throwing tantrums because they need something? Or are they unable to communicate something? Once your teen cools down, talk to them about their behavior and the reason behind their tantrum.
Always be open to communication without judging them. The more you talk with your kiddo, the more likely they are to open up, leading you to understand the reasons behind their tantrums better.
2. Validate their feelings
Never neglect their feelings or say, “Oh, this is nothing. You are unnecessarily creating a ruckus.” This will only create unwanted friction between you and your child. You don’t have to agree with what they are saying at all times or completely understand their problems either (because sometimes you just can’t since you are past the teenage phase yourself). You simply have to lend them your ear and validate their feelings. This is good enough to manage your teen’s tantrums.
Listening to them, understanding their problem, validating their feelings, and involving them in problem-solving will help you both take control of the situation. This will, in turn, reduce the frequency of teen tantrums over time. If they find a safe space in you, they will be more likely to discuss and debate things (because healthy debating is always good for a child’s development) instead of arguing.
3. Look out for stress points
Teens are usually under a lot of pressure, mainly due to their peers or things happening around them. How they respond to these can also have a major impact on their mood. If all is going well with their peer group, they will be easier to deal with. However, if things are rocky, you will find them shouting at every little thing, slamming doors, name-calling, etc.
So, if you see these signs, understand something is not right in their surrounding. Talk to your teen when they cool down and try to understand the “why” behind their tantrums. The more you neglect the stress points, the more it might escalate. Get their tantrums in check before it’s too late.
4. Build trust
Most of the time, teens don’t share their problems with their parents because they think you won’t understand them or listen to them, or you will blame them for their problems. So, try to build up trust with your kids. Trust is a crucial element in all relationships, and it is also important for a parent-child relationship. However, during the teenage phase, the blind faith they had in you as a little one begins to waver.
Remind your kids that you were also a teen once and can resonate with their problems. Tell them you will listen to them without rolling your eyes or judging them. Make them believe that you will always be there for them no matter what. Try to incorporate positive affirmations into your conversation to lift their spirits. This will make your teens less anxious and more willing to open up to you.
Teen tantrums can be problematic and sometimes even unacceptable (especially when they start blurting out hurtful things that could break a parent’s heart). However, if you remain calm and deal with them effectively, you will have a happy teenager in no time. So, follow these tips and let us know in the comment section how they helped you deal with your teen’s tantrums.
