I’m expecting my second baby, a girl, in August. A little girl! I still can’t believe it.
In my mind, I was a boy mama. We already have a three-year-old son. All four great-grandchildren on my husband’s side have been boys so far. The baby that I was pregnant with at the time of my miscarriage last summer was a boy. And with my low baby bump and salty food cravings — both signs that you’re carrying a boy, according to myth — I was certain I was pregnant with a boy once again.
Then the doctor called to tell me that my motherly intuition was dead wrong. It was 8 a.m. on Valentine’s Day. I was so caught off guard I screamed into the phone, Are you SURE?! I’m so surprised!!
My husband, who was sulking because we were out of coffee filters, stared at me like I had lost my mind. Be quiet, he hissed. You’re going to wake up the entire building!
Here’s the thing: I wasn’t upset at all…I was just shocked. When it came right down to it, I didn’t care what my baby’s gender was, especially after having a miscarriage; I just prayed and prayed for another healthy child. So I’ve been amazed by some of the remarks I’ve heard since revealing that Mason will have a little sister this summer. (Whatever happened to “Congrats!”) Here, a few gems:
“The test results must be wrong.” This stung because I was so excited, and I hadn’t expected this response when I shared my big news. But I imagine the remark was out of surprise, and nothing more.
“Aren’t you scared?” I think what my husband’s friend meant to say was “Congrats!” Instead, he seemed to be projecting his own fears about having a daughter on me. For the record, Nope, I’m not scared. I’m grateful!
“Just wait until she’s a teenager!” Yes, mom, I know I sucked as a teenager. All teenagers pretty much suck at some point. I can take it; the tween and teen years are part of parenting, just like those sleepless newborn days.
“One of each — now your family is complete!” A stranger at my favorite juice bar made this remark after she asked when I was due and what I was having (who says New Yorkers aren’t friendly?). All I could think was, “How do you know? I’m not even sure I’ll be done after baby #2.”
“Wow! What did you do to conceive a girl?” Another mom asked me this question at the park. I suspect “Um….have sex with my husband” wasn’t what she wanted to hear. I imagine she wanted me to tell her that one of the myths out there about how to conceive a girl really worked. But since gender didn’t matter to us (and I don’t believe in those myths anyway) I never “did” anything special.
What’s the weirdest remark you heard about your baby’s gender while you were pregnant?
